Panda Bites Man, Man Bites Panda.

A drunken man jumped into a Beijing Zoo enclosure because of a sudden urge to want to touch the Pandas on display.

The bear, startled by being woken up by the man, responded by biting the man in the leg. The drunken man, mad he was bit, kicked the bear, and the bear bit his other leg. Still determined, the man decided there was only one logical course of action, he bit the bear on the back.

When questioned about his actions, he talked about how he had seen pandas on television and they seemed get on with people. So, logically, nothing would happen. I guess he had been playing too much Tekken and thought you could just hang out with bears.

Maybe I should make my blog a series of "Lessons" to my faithful reading audience, to make sure they don't get in trouble in life. I guess Lesson #1 would be, Don't Stab People. There are so many lessons that could be taken from this article.. Don't get drunk enough to jump into exhibits at the zoo, don't believe everything you see on television, but I think the official lesson learned here is:

Lesson #2: Panda Bears are not your friend.

Who stabs someone in the leg, anyway?

So perhaps you might have heard about the Northern Colorado second string punter, who stabbed the first string punter, so he could play.

Needless to say, this plan didn't work after a liquor store clerk saw him taking off the black tape that covered his license tag and called the cops shortly after the stabbing. The punter has been released on a $40,000 bond, charges pending.

But the story gets ironic during Northern Colorados first game this last Saturday versus Texas State, the first game since there punter incident last week.

The strong Safety, the third string punter, comes in to punt, and gets injured in the game.

The next punter comes in, and he's fantastic.. kicking his first punt a grand total of 7 yards. Honestly, how much could you really expect from the 4th string punter at Northern Colorado.

But alas, the Northern Colorado team, despite the punter difficulties continued to press on, and with only a few second remaining in the first half, Northern Colorado got some more punter magic, they ended up blocking a punt by the other team, and running it back for a touchdown to go up 14-0, which eventually proved to be the game winning score as they held on to win, 14-13.

A drama filled punting week, ends on a good note.. except for the 2nd string punter. I guess the moral of the story is to not stab people. Remember that kids, don't stab people.

Manatees aren't stupid! They're just really lazy....

As many of you know, I have some weird fascination with Manatees. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that they are cute. They're cute in that get run over by a boat way, but cute all the same.

I have heard many times by all you mean souls out there that Manatees are dumb, because how else could they get run over all the time. Well, it turns out, I was right, and you were wrong. Fat and Lazy? Yes. Cute? Yes. Stupid? Nope!

And now I have science to back me up. Manatees aren't stupid, they're just slow and lazy.

R.I.P. Steve Irwin

Steve Irwin, better known as the Crocodile Hunter, has died.

Not surprisingly, it happened while filming a documentary about animals. Apparently, a sting rays barb punctured his chest.

As ridiculous as he sometimes acted in his "character" as the Croc Hunter, his excitement for wildlife always came through as he did what he could to bring the terrible situation that many endangered species face to our living rooms. Him, and people like him, constantly champion the race to save thousands of species of plants and animals throughout the globe. That is something to be admired.

Steve Irwin, Dead at 44, RIP.