Save the Beach at the End of the Street!

Oh man does Homeland Security have it together or what?

The more I read into this report, the more of comic genius it is. That's a link to the actual report, instead of just a story about it (warning, its a pdf). CNN just doesn't do it justice when making fun of it.

Let's just hit some highlights:

-Indiana lists 65% of the Public Health Sector, including all 417 of its nursing homes.

-25 Golf Courses, 24 Swimming Pools, 34 Coca Cola botllers/distributors, and 3,773.... wait for it.. wait for it.. malls.

-The state of Washington has 65 national monuments, whereas Washington, DC only has 37.

-New Mexico Controls the Internet. In the "Information Technology" sector, New Mexico has 553 (73%), the next highest state (Virginia) has 68.

-4,164 schools are listed of various sizes from Head Start programs to University, 2,126 of these are in Virginia. There are 96,000 schools that would fall in the range of Head Start programs to University in reality. We don't know why the other 92,000 do not need protection, but the ones in Virginia do.

-Various things that are listed that are funny: Trees of Mystery, Inn, Rolls Royce Plant, Donut Shop, Jay's Sporting Goods, Auto Shop, Nix's Check Cashing, Assyrian American Association, Association for the Jewish Blind, Sweetwater Flea Market, 4 Cs Fuel and Lube, and I quote, "Beach at End of [a] Street."


Honestly, the report doesn't surprise me all that much. It's just a bit pathetic that our tax dollars are going to be distributed based on something this moronic. Perhaps by the time the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 rolls around, we'll actually figure out what we're supposed to be protecting.