When you were a kid, you probably bumped your head a few times. Perhaps even hard. Maybe you have a scar that your parents tell you about how you fell off the high chair and hit the corner of the table or the fireplace. Or perhaps you took a few extra spins on the merry-go-round and fell off.
I certainly had my fair share of them. I took a baseball to the head that knocked me out and left a pretty good shiner. I fell out of the top bunk when I was asleep and hit my head on my dresser loud enough to wake my parents up in the next room. But I certainly never got any of my bumps and bruises the way the baby in our latest news adventure did. Mostly because when I was a 4 week old, my mother didn't use me as a baseball bat when my dad stepped out of line. I'm not sure if it was because my dad never stepped out of line, or if we happened to have baseball bats always laying around the house, but regardless, to the best of my knowledge, it didn't happen.
The baby suffered a fractured skull, some bleeding in the brain and is in serious, but stable condition. The mothers bail has been set at $75,000, which I'm pretty sure is not enough being that the "aggravated" in her aggravated assault case is because she used a baby as a weapon. Her other 4 children were taken out of the home and put in protective custody.
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2 comments:
Sometimes I think we should institute psych tests before allowing someone to have children.
When you are mad at someone you:
A) Yell
B) Hit them
C) Pick something up and hit them
D) Hit them with whatever is in your hand
E) Use your sleeping baby as a weapon.
Let's not limit the options. What about:
F) Smile and plot a timely revenge
G) the obligatory Christian forgiveness/turning the other cheek/taking the plank out of your own eye
H) the Neo-Christian "..take the web-enabled cellphone out of your own eye.."
I) the generic orthodox monotheist "make war upon the unbelievers.."
J) the republican "hit a third party with your sleeping baby"
K) the democrat "stand there looking stupid while your baby is rushed to the hospital"
L) Or, in the immortal words of Booger, "I say we blow the fuckers up." No one will ever be free until nerd persecution ends...
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