Rule #11: If you want to be the Ultimate Nerd, you also need to go to the U of W.

So now you have your Darth Vader Hot Air Balloon and think you're the ultimate nerd?

Well, unless you're using that Hot Air Balloon to go to the University of Washington, you are not a true nerd. That's because they are offering "Religion and Conflict in Battlestar Galactica" this term at the school. The perfect class, for the greatest nerds among us.

Other "Comparative History of Ideas" discussion groups including: "Fear and Loathing: Exploring Fear in film and Literature as a Didactic Vehicle", "Queer Performance Poetry", and "Bruce Lee Dedication."

But if you can't make it to the Fall term, you'll have another shot at the Battlestar Galactica in the Spring, but it will compete with "Time, Fantasy & Mythology: Exploring the Many Worlds in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter." Whatever will you do.

I'm a bit worried now....

Fletcher evidently hasn't shown me the way, or I haven't been paying attention to all his warnings over the year. I feel 61% is respectable, but not nearly enough to truly be comfortable surviving a Zombie Apocalypse.


61%

Wow! Look at how different it is!

As many of you know, I spent a year in Australia while I was still in school. I had a great time, primarily cause they like a lot of similar things as I do, aka sports and beer. While I could tell many a story about beer, I only like to tell them while drinking more beer. So if you'd like to hear those, buy me a beer.

So we'll talk about sports instead. I spent a lot of time choosing my teams while I was there, cause quite frankly, I had no allegiance to any of them. And by "a lot of time" I, of course, mean that I supported the first team in any sport that my newly made friends suggested. So I got quite a few new teams while I was there. I got an English Soccer Team (Go Spurs), I got a favorite Aussie Rules team (Go Bombers), I got a favorite state (Go New South Wales), I got a favorite Cricket club (3 time repeat champions of the World Cup, Australia), I got a favorite cricket player (Go Gilchrist, Man of the Match for the finals of the World Cup), and of course, I got a favorite Rugby League team. Which brings us to our story of the day.

My rugby league team is, was and always will be the Balmain Tigers. But since Rupert Murdock is an evil man, the year that I was there was the final one that they existed. They merged with the Western Suburb Magpies to form the "Wests Tigers." And, for the record, they won the Grand Final in 2005, Go the TIGERS!

But I digress. My Wests Tigers jersey is important to me. It was a gift from my friends as a going away present. They didn't actually sell these jerseys yet, as the new logo was announced only days before I left the country. But they managed to go to the Balmain office and talk someone into selling one to them. So I have one of the first Wests Tigers jerseys in existence. It was worn by one of the players during the press conference to announce the new logo. Pretty cool, huh?

Regardless, because of this, I know this logo pretty darn well. Which is why I was absolutely shocked to see the newest logo of a sports team in Wichita. The Wichita Wild.




Now I'm just shocked about this. And I'm going to write the Wild and ask them where they got this logo from. It shall be interesting to see what they say. Perhaps they have permission to use it. Perhaps they don't even know that the logo they are using is directly copied. I'll let you know when I find out!

Rule #10: If you want to be the Ultimate Nerd, you Need a Darth Vader Hot Air Balloon

Now honestly, I don't think it gets better. I know lots of nerds.. but none of you have anything on this guy.

Yes, my friends, the ultimate nerd transporting device has finally arrived, a Darth Vader Hot Air Balloon. Now I must admit, I like seeing hot air balloons. But if I saw this, flying over the sky, I don't know how I could possibly react other then to shake my head.

I firmly await the Yoda head, Chewbacca Head, or Storm Trooper head, that is sure to follow.

My First "Proper" Royal Flush

Two in Two days.. my first two ever.. the second one was the first "proper" one where I had both hole cards.

Whee.

Rule #9: The one true way to get back your fans? Giant Laser Shooting Robot.

Count me in on the Michael Jackson is Awesome fanclub.

Plans are in the works for a 50 Foot Robot replica of the King of Pop himself. Yes, that's right, a 50 Foot Robot that shoots laser beams out of its eyes.

It would be a promotional statue in full view of "incoming planes into Las Vegas." That means the first thing you saw as you flew into Sin City would be a giant replica Jacko doll. At least most people don't bring kids to Vegas.. I mean imagine the fear they'd have.

Jackson is considering doing a show in Vegas, complete with human cyborgs that are controlled by the audience.

Audience Controlled Cyborgs? 50 Foot Robots? Count me in if it ever happens. I can check out the new Skywalk while I'm there.

Rule #8: The best way to avoid getting caught for Bank Robbery? Rob another bank!

Obviously since this worked once, it would work again and again.

Police in Wellington, New Zealand were baffled that they couldn't find a
bank robber they thought was confined in a small area of downtown Wellington. Turns out he was in the one place that police weren't looking.. another bank.

And of course, while he was there, he figured he might as well rob the place. Witnesses who saw the man described him as "dodgy." Brilliant.

Rule #7: If you're going to be racist, don't post the pictures on the internet.

Students at Tarleton State University are being strongly criticized by the NAACP as well as several other organizations after photos of a party thrown on Martin Luther King Day were posted on the internet site Facebook, and then placed on TSG.

It appears that the party involved several white students dressed in gang attire, Afro whigs, and even one girl dressed as Aunt Jemima.

When asked about the photos the student who posted the pictures, Jeremy Pelz, responded that the party was not supposed to be "racist or discriminating." The party, according to Pelz, was started a few years earlier "because one of best friends is black or African American, whichever you deem politically correct, to be his day not to dishonor him." Word whether his "black friend" attended the party was not available.

The University has launched an investigation into the party.

Rule #6: Whatever you do, Don't have surgery in Romania

Doctors Unions in Romania are in an uproar after one of their own was ordered to pay $200,000 in damages to a patient out of his own pocket. It appears that the doctor, while performing a delicate surgery lost his temper, and well, let's say over-reacted.

It seems like telling my readers not to have surgery in an entire country seems a bit extreme, but I think after reading about this guys penis you'll understand why.